I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
