woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
