oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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