Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
