This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
