Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
