i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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