okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
