Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
