No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
