Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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