either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We named our party play list daddy issues
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
