Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.

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  (301): Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached. http://tfl.nu/7q2p
  Replies (3) Good night (1605) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  come over

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  (402): hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face. (1-402): come over http://tfl.nu/v8ye
  Replies (25) Good night (7452) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.

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  (314): I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old. http://tfl.nu/qc6x
  Replies (19) Good night (667) Bad night (5567)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

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  (865): Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all. http://tfl.nu/2gc2
  Replies (10) Good night (694) Bad night (3107)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
  Replies (27) Good night (6215) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.

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  (916): You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest. http://tfl.nu/46jw
  Replies (6) Good night (3969) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads

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  (513): This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads http://tfl.nu/11ei
  Replies (4) Good night (2394) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.

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  (907): Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today. http://tfl.nu/sot5
  Replies (4) Good night (1556) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.

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  (289): The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am. http://tfl.nu/r9i0
  Replies (7) Good night (1505) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.

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  (810): I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you. http://tfl.nu/2b90
  Replies (8) Good night (493) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Hahah what did you even say to him?!

  (805): View more from California

  That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?

  (818): View more from California

  Oh.

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  (818): Hahah what did you even say to him?! (805): That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower? (818): Oh. http://tfl.nu/lvu0
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.

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  (718): Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really. http://tfl.nu/n2d1
  Replies (13) Good night (2682) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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  (518): you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh http://tfl.nu/hnvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1585) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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  (609): I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack. http://tfl.nu/ai2z
  Replies (1) Good night (1270) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck

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  (408): my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck http://tfl.nu/pgzd
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (163)

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