I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night