Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.