Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?