Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.

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  (504): That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy. http://tfl.nu/e23b
  Replies (11) Good night (727) Bad night (2060)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!

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  (732): I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body! http://tfl.nu/a54s
  Replies (22) Good night (4934) Bad night (804)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.

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  (303): I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer. http://tfl.nu/2j6i
  Replies (76) Good night (15727) Bad night (1314)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"

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  (778): we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza" http://tfl.nu/yszc
  Replies (11) Good night (3928) Bad night (592)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.

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  (270): The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned. http://tfl.nu/9j2r
  Replies (30) Good night (5478) Bad night (3661)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty

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  (253): She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty http://tfl.nu/bhaz
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (2835)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?

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  (253): Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls? http://tfl.nu/i6ht
  Replies (18) Good night (4093) Bad night (797)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.

  (623): View more from Arizona

  and by single i mean slutty

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  (623): just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single. (623): and by single i mean slutty http://tfl.nu/aczn
  Replies (12) Good night (3599) Bad night (1073)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.

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  (623): I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me. http://tfl.nu/we23
  Replies (5) Good night (1487) Bad night (670)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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  (412): Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand http://tfl.nu/54cj
  Replies (3) Good night (1280) Bad night (493)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."

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  (850): Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay." http://tfl.nu/hng1
  Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (852)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.

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  (406): Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row. http://tfl.nu/j0up
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (256)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.

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  (832): I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket. http://tfl.nu/lg7t
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (557)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.

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  (617): When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise. http://tfl.nu/gx0y
  Replies (6) Good night (1088) Bad night (608)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic

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  (647): after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic http://tfl.nu/1zuu
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (241)

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