Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

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  (484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/xhdj
  Replies (50) Good night (48118) Bad night (1377)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wtf, did you fuck a retard?!

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  (860): he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape (617): wtf, did you fuck a retard?! http://tfl.nu/q1iv
  Replies (11) Good night (846) Bad night (4120)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother

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  (404): we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother http://tfl.nu/qg9n
  Replies (14) Good night (4993) Bad night (931)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.

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  (801): Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon. http://tfl.nu/ouiw
  Replies (14) Good night (1026) Bad night (5415)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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  (707): She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her. http://tfl.nu/yn7x
  Replies (15) Good night (5003) Bad night (1719)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.

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  (732): You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you. http://tfl.nu/wi1w
  Replies (7) Good night (3451) Bad night (1587)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?

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  (662): There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/zwz2
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (1627)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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  (313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p
  Replies (4) Good night (2069) Bad night (1433)
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  (909): View more from California

  No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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  (909): No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets. http://tfl.nu/zkqt
  Replies (6) Good night (2014) Bad night (548)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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  (540): The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth http://tfl.nu/eovp
  Replies (8) Good night (2961) Bad night (604)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined

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  (561): I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined http://tfl.nu/31mt
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thats for me to know and you to find out.

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  (519): Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning (416): Thats for me to know and you to find out. http://tfl.nu/ors0
  Replies (1) Good night (1114) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.

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  (515): SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me. http://tfl.nu/71wb
  Replies (6) Good night (1122) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.

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  (304): The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me. http://tfl.nu/eykr
  Replies (8) Good night (424) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing

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  (407): so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing http://tfl.nu/s8vo
  Replies (2) Good night (191) Bad night (342)

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