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• (906): View more from Michigan

  didnt we say no more talking to eachother

  (906): View more from Michigan

  it will help you get over me i promise

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  im horny

  (906): View more from Michigan

  ok i will unlock the door

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• (718): View more from New York

  Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."

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• (626): View more from California

  Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.

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  21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  The strip club called, they have your shoe.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245

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  17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....

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