Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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(510): View more from California

i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.

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(954): View more from Florida

He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.

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