I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
