She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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