life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
