this beer tastes like vomit already
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
