No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize