he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
