I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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