You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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