yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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