Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
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I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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