Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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