you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
