My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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