First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
