I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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