I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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