Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
