I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Send help, water and tortillas.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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