I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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