Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't deserve a penis
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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