Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
