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• (954): View more from Florida

  Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  No, it just says ur easy

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I spit up blood this morning

  (206): View more from Washington

  That's vegas.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  $100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.

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• (619): View more from California

  Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her

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• (323): View more from California

  Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating

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• (310): View more from California

  Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced

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