It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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