butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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