grandma shit on top of the toilet
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize