is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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