You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
