How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
