I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize