So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
