Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
