is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
