I wish my penis had an off switch
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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