we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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