That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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