is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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