I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
