Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize