I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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