Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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