Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
