the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We don't watch enough power rangers
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
