Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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