we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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