Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
