My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
