Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize