I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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