There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
