Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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